1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
