I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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