If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
