i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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