I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize