I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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