do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Watching her eat just hurts me
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
