I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
