plz talk dirty to me
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
