Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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