I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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