This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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