I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
