Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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