You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
