batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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