GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
