He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
