Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
