Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
