as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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