if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
