I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
