She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
