dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Your penis caused this!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
