My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize