I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
