if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Randomize
