No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
