I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I will be naked everywhere
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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