Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
