fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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