the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
