what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
