maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
