just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
