You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
