Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
