I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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