It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
