apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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