We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
it's like heaven, but drunker
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
