Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
