i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
