we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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