this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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