Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
