Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
