I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
