We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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