I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
