why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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