dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
it's great music for shaving your balls
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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