New invention idea: vibrating tampons
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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