At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
