toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
