I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
tell me about the fingering
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