Even water is tasting like jack daniels
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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