once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
