I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
