She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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