I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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