Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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